So, here is what I wrote- a prayer:
Lord, today has been extremely difficult. Just as I thought that today would be a nice rest, I have experienced otherwise. My heart is so broken- I am battling my emotional response to many things. I am inside this ministry- reaching the depths. Hearing the real stories- real occurrences- real realities. So many stories of hope yet, so many stories of despair. I cling to you.
Story after story- pain. The tears just don’t leave my eyes. I am only just beginning to understand this ministry from the ground. Children kicked and chased out of their homes; children abused; children that eat less than three times a week; children unable to be in school …the list goes on. Darkness. My heart is burdened. I don’t understand how we can even sit here - rather than just going out and loving these children. I can’t understand why it has gotten so bad. I cannot understand the strength possessed by the Zambians, sitting to my left and right. I look around, many in tears., hearing these stories. However, I am able to find the common ground between us all: the compassion each on of us share for these orphaned children, through the Love of Jesus Christ. Our hearts have all been broken, all burdened by this horrific reality. Together though, as brothers and sisters in Christ, we are able to cling to the Hope of our Savior, Jesus Christ your son.
Amongst the painful disparities that we have discussed, we also have been sharing testimonies of children whose lives previously were nothing but pain. To hear the lips of a small child call on Jesus- to feel these children call Jesus, “Daddy” - to hear the stories of these children that are still standing, serving as living testimonies- these stories are enough for us to keep going. For me to know that if we were only to make a difference in one child’s life- we have done what the Lord has called us to do. This ministry is incredible. The Lord’s blessing is on this ministry and on Zambia.